consumating

Continue to throw out ridiculous ideas for seducing my Blockbuster boyfriend.

Hi, I was looking at this movie, have you seen it?
One more quick question, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

We could make a list of films to ask for that would either impress him with your vast knowledge or alienate him with your obscurity.

rent the movies 'fatal attraction', 'i spit on your grave', 'sudden impact', 'ms. 45', 'sympathy for lady vengeance' and 'audition', then invite him back to your place.

bluefish wrote:rent the movies 'fatal attraction', 'i spit on your grave', 'sudden impact', 'ms. 45', 'sympathy for lady vengeance' and 'audition', then invite him back to your place.

And Secretary.

khaaaaansumating wrote:We could make a list of films to ask for that would either impress him with your vast knowledge or alienate him with your obscurity.

Yes.

Chanelly wrote:

bluefish wrote:rent the movies 'fatal attraction', 'i spit on your grave', 'sudden impact', 'ms. 45', 'sympathy for lady vengeance' and 'audition', then invite him back to your place.

And Secretary.

I once heard Fight Club was the way to go, and I've never seen it. Thoughts?

val_valkyrie wrote:

Chanelly wrote:

bluefish wrote:rent the movies 'fatal attraction', 'i spit on your grave', 'sudden impact', 'ms. 45', 'sympathy for lady vengeance' and 'audition', then invite him back to your place.

And Secretary.

I once heard Fight Club was the way to go, and I've never seen it. Thoughts?

You should see it.

but... but... i was listing only movies where women wreak vengeance on oppressive men. y'know, cuz guys dig that.

Show him your boobs. If that doesn't work, he's gay. That's how I get all my boyfriends.

I used to work in a video store, so perhaps I can list all the things girls did that successfully seduced me:


1. Return the wrong movie, forcing me to call them at the number listed on their account
2. Putting a dead parakeet inside the movie box instead of a movie
3. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with her
4. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with him
5. Returning porn, claiming she could make a better one, followed by wink
6. Getting into a twenty minute discussion at closing time about which Star Wars movie was better, causing the conversation to leave the store and head to a nearby coffee shop
7. Gunpoint
8. Her saying, "Watch this movie with me, faggot."
9. Him saying, "Do you like movies about barbarians?"
10. Her saying, "Do you have that Cary Grant movie I think it is called 'Please cute video store guy, come with me somewhere fun?' I'm not sure when it was released..."

9.81 meters per s*s wrote:I used to work in a video store, so perhaps I can list all the things girls did that successfully seduced me:


1. Return the wrong movie, forcing me to call them at the number listed on their account
2. Putting a dead parakeet inside the movie box instead of a movie
3. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with her
4. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with him
5. Returning porn, claiming she could make a better one, followed by wink
6. Getting into a twenty minute discussion at closing time about which Star Wars movie was better, causing the conversation to leave the store and head to a nearby coffee shop
7. Gunpoint
8. Her saying, "Watch this movie with me, faggot."
9. Him saying, "Do you like movies about barbarians?"
10. Her saying, "Do you have that Cary Grant movie I think it is called 'Please cute video store guy, come with me somewhere fun?' I'm not sure when it was released..."

Sweet Jesus. Please tell me which of those are real. I don't think Blockbuster rents out porn, though.

val_valkyrie wrote:

9.81 meters per s*s wrote:I used to work in a video store, so perhaps I can list all the things girls did that successfully seduced me:


1. Return the wrong movie, forcing me to call them at the number listed on their account
2. Putting a dead parakeet inside the movie box instead of a movie
3. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with her
4. Renting porn, asking if I'd like to watch it with him
5. Returning porn, claiming she could make a better one, followed by wink
6. Getting into a twenty minute discussion at closing time about which Star Wars movie was better, causing the conversation to leave the store and head to a nearby coffee shop
7. Gunpoint
8. Her saying, "Watch this movie with me, faggot."
9. Him saying, "Do you like movies about barbarians?"
10. Her saying, "Do you have that Cary Grant movie I think it is called 'Please cute video store guy, come with me somewhere fun?' I'm not sure when it was released..."

Sweet Jesus. Please tell me which of those are real. I don't think Blockbuster rents out porn, though.

They don't. Which makes me sadpandafaced.

I think they still have those movies like Emanuelle though, and Poison Ivy 2. That's a close second. No it's not.

khaaaaansumating wrote:I think they still have those movies like Emanuelle though, and Poison Ivy 2. That's a close second. No it's not.

Not at all. Jamie Pressley needs to do porn though. Indeed.

I know how you could seduce him. Send him a secret Valentine's Day package with socks and a sweet mix cd.

Well, none are actually true but:

1. Return the wrong movie, forcing me to call them at the number listed on their account
6. Getting into a twenty minute discussion at closing time about which Star Wars movie was better, causing the conversation to leave the store and head to a nearby coffee shop
8. Her saying, "Watch this movie with me, faggot."
10. Her saying, "Do you have that Cary Grant movie I think it is called 'Please cute video store guy, come with me somewhere fun?' I'm not sure when it was released..."

Would probably all work.

Additionally, someone did put a dead parakeet in the drop box for the video store once. We also discovered a man laying on the floor of the porn room...just laying there. When someone confronted him he just jumped up and ran out of the store.

EVERCLEAR + SIT ON HIS LAP = WIN/WIN

How many times have I told you this. It'll work. ESPECIALLY if you go naked.

Problem solved. They can close this thread now.

DJ Qelyn wrote:

val_valkyrie wrote:
Sweet Jesus. Please tell me which of those are real. I don't think Blockbuster rents out porn, though.

They don't. Which makes me sadpandafaced.

I DID find Pirates XXX on the shelf there once, though.

khaaaaansumating wrote:I know how you could seduce him. Send him a secret Valentine's Day package with socks and a sweet mix cd.

What are you trying to say, Khaaaaaaan?

val_valkyrie wrote:

DJ Qelyn wrote:

val_valkyrie wrote:
Sweet Jesus. Please tell me which of those are real. I don't think Blockbuster rents out porn, though.

They don't. Which makes me sadpandafaced.

I DID find Pirates XXX on the shelf there once, though.

It's got the naughty bits cut out...I mean, what Pirate porn? huh? who? I have to go...

val_valkyrie wrote:

DJ Qelyn wrote:

val_valkyrie wrote:
Sweet Jesus. Please tell me which of those are real. I don't think Blockbuster rents out porn, though.

They don't. Which makes me sadpandafaced.

I DID find Pirates XXX on the shelf there once, though.

I have actually SEEN that picture. Quite the fine porn. They rented the set literally right after Pirate of the Caribbean, and saw all the props still there so they used them. Then they got sued, and won. So a fine peice of adult film got made and apparently snuck into blockbuster.

Now, THAT WILL BE A HUGE SURPRISE for the renter if they think they will be seeing Johnny Depp and instead hear bad dialogue about "impaling young wench with my mighty sword".


But we have a new plan. Everclear + Sitting on his Lap + Pirates XXX = You winning.

They might not have it anymore. It was at least last summer that I saw it there. Maybe I should request it.

YES! From him!!!

OKAY, I WENT TO BLOCKBUSTER TONIGHT AND I LOOKED CUTE AND SMELLED GOOD AND HE WAS THERE AND I WAS FULLY PREPARED TO MAKE ALL THE ADVANCES POSSIBLE AND IMPLEMENT ALL YOUR TIPS AND THEN HE DIDN'T CHECK ME OUT. He was, like, arranging "Sex & the City" posters and skating around the store. DAMN.